Save me From the nothing I've become
by KathrynValmont
Summary: On Hiatus Hermione is depressed with her life so she cuts on herself. George Weasley finds her one night and befriends her. What happens when things get complicated when they slowly start to fall in love?
1. Default Chapter

Title: Save me from the Nothing I've become  
  
Summary: Hermione is depressed with her life so she cuts on herself. George Weasley finds her one night and befriends her. What happens when things get complicated when they slowly start to fall in love?  
  
Coupling: George and Hermione  
  
Rating Pg-13. It has language and deals with self mutilation  
  
Disclaimer: I can PROMISE you that I don't own Harry Potter but if you want to sue me be my guest.  
  
Warning: This is a deep fiction, so if stuff like cutting on yourself and drugs bothers you I advise you to not read this, or if it does and you find this kind of thing interesting go right ahead.  
  
Chapter One:  
  
As George Weasley passed by the girls' bathroom he shook his head slightly as he listened to the girl's cry. At first he had passed it off, as moaning myrtle making a bigger fuss than usual but it was different. It didn't sound like moaning Myrtle.  
  
He wondered what on earth was going on in there. Most girls he knew steered clear of that bathroom. No one he could think of was in hurry to bump into Moaning Myrtle or would be in a hurry to in the near future. He thought about going in but he decided that person wanted to obviously be left alone. He was about to leave when he heard the person speak.  
  
"It makes all the pain go away, even if it's only for awhile. For a minute I can forget about my pain and I can be strong. I can deal with it all."  
  
George put his head against the door. The voice sounded so familiar. He knew he had heard her talk before. He at least knew her from a distance.  
  
"Oh, God, let me die. Just let me fucking die," he heard the girl say.  
  
George didn't know what to do. He had to go in there though. HE had to see if there was anything he could do. Maybe he could talk to this girl, or at least do something.  
  
He had already made up his mind. He wasn't thinking of the fact that maybe he wasn't ready to know who it was, because he surely did know her at a distance. She was in his very house. His mouth-hung open at what he saw when he burst in.  
  
There stood Hermione Granger with blood running down her arm. She had set the blade down as she looked to see the person who had found her out.  
  
"Oh, God. Get out!"  
  
At first George stood there in shock. He didn't know what to say. This was something he didn't exactly see everyday. It was deffinitely something he didn't have to deal with every day. He decided to give her the benefit of the doubt to what was obviously going on.  
  
"Oh, my God. Hermione, come with me. I don't know what is going on here. I'll help you out here. I'll get you to the Madame Pom-"  
  
"No. No one can know. I don't want anyone to know what I do to myself," said Hermione.  
  
"You did this to yourself," asked George shocked.  
  
"What do you think? You see a blade here. And well, gee, I have blood running down my arm. What do you think George? Or is it Fred? I never really could tell the two of you apart," said Hermione sarcastically.  
  
"I'm George. I don't know why you're doing what you're doing but you need help. And you need it badly. I don't know what to do with you at the moment," said George.  
  
"Then do nothing. Just walk away. You go back to being you, the jokester. I go back to being me, Ms. Perfect, the girl who never does anything wrong. After all I fit the role so perfectly. I'm just the third member of the dream team."  
  
George wasn't sure to either think she was insane or to feel sorry for her. He knew one thing. She wasn't what people saw her to be.  
  
"I should tell someone."  
  
"You should, I suppose. Have you ever felt so trapped, so over crowded, that all you wanted was to escape from it all," asked Hermione.  
  
"Everyone does at one point or another. They find different ways to deal with it. Why did you have to make me involved with this," asked George.  
  
"I made you involved? Excuse me, but I think you're the one who walked in on me. You can leave. If you tell anyone I'll hex you," said Hermione," as she finished wiping the blood off.  
  
As she turned to go she heard his faint words. "I'll never tell a soul."  
  
************************  
  
George layed awake at night later that night thinking of what he had walked in on earlier that night. How could he had made such a promise? He had to tell someone. He had promised though.  
  
He never broke a promise. He wondered if even his brother knew about this. He doubted it. If his youngest brother knew about it he would make the hugest deal out of it. He would make Voldermort destroying the world sound like a Sunday stroll.  
  
He tried to ignore it. He tried to tell himself that it was none of his business and that she was a big girl that could take care of herself. If George was any sane person he would have left her alone or had told someone. He wasn't just anyone though.  
  
He had walked into the room and at the moment he couldn't turn away without making sure that she was going to be okay. He had to find a way to help her. How the hell was he supposed to do that? How the hell did you help someone who wanted you to leave them the hell alone.  
  
He didn't know how the hell he was going to do it but he would find a way. He wasn't just going to walk away. He couldn't. He was involved now whether she liked it or not.  
  
*******************  
  
It was breakfast and Hermione watched in disgust as Ron continued to stuff his face with food. Then she watched as Harry tried to cram in his Potions homework, for Professor Snape would be mess than thrilled if it was not done.  
  
She gave a small weak smile to all of this. This was her home. This was her life. This was what she was used to. They could never know of her pain. They wouldn't understand. She would lose them if they knew how she coped with her pain. No, she wouldn't lose them. They were all she had in this world. She was put on the mask that fit her so well if it meant keeping the two people who meant more than anything to her in the world.  
  
"Hermione, where were you last night? I looked everywhere for you! You were supposed to help me with my homework. Now I am going to fail muggle studies," said Lavender from her spot which was near Fred and George.  
  
"Um-"  
  
"Where DID you go," inquired Ron.  
  
"I- well- I"  
  
"She was with me last night," said George quietly.  
  
Four faces looked at him. They clearly wanted to hear the rest. Hermione threw him a look full of curiosity.  
  
"Well, you see, Hermione was taking a walk last night. She was by the Quidditch field. I needed help with my work so we studied in the library. Now thanks to Hermione Mum might receive one less owl," said George smoothly.  
  
He watched as Hermione let out a breath.  
  
Well, if this interrogation is over I have to go. I have to go get my schoolbooks. I'll help you study tonight Lavender. I promise. Goodbye everyone. Whatever you do, do not be late to ANY of your classes. We have potions with Slytherin first today. Neville, Try not to break anything," said Hermione crossly.  
  
*******************  
  
Once in the safety of her room she cried. She had come so close to losing everything she had worked so hard for. What if George let it slip? What would she do then? Her whole world would come crashing down on her. She wouldn't let it. She would avoid George at all cost. She would make him leave her alone. 


	2. Talk by the fire

Hermione tossed and turned in her bed. Sleep was just not coming to her that night. She finally sat up. She looked out the window that was right by her bed.  
  
Life was so fucked up. She lived with the constant fear that George would tell someone. She couldn't bear for that to happen. Her whole world would end if Harry and Ron found out it really would.  
  
********************  
  
George sat in the common room in front of the roaring fire. It consumed all of his thoughts and pain. He was so intent on the fire he barely heard the door creak but he had heard it. He turned around to see Hermione getting ready to leave the common room.  
  
"Where exactly are you going?"  
  
Hermione turned around with a look of terror on her face. It softened when she realized that it was only George. She was about to become cross with him when she noticed he had been crying. She sat next to him.  
  
"What happened, George?"  
  
"It's over between Alicia and I. She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. She's dating some Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. How could she do this to me? Doesn't she know that I love her?"  
  
"Sometimes people don't realize that. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you. Sometimes people do things they didn't want to do, George. Sometimes things happen. I'm sorry. Drowning your sorrow in Beer is not going to help you," said Hermione softly.  
  
"I really hate to be the one to bust your bubble, but someone has got to do it sometime. There is no time like the present. Let me drink if it helps me feel better. I'm not the one who runs a knife against my skin. What happened to you Hermione? No one wakes up one day and decides they want to cut on themselves because they have nothing better to do," said George deeply.  
  
"You know what? You keep my secret. I'll cut if I want to and you can drink if you want to. Goodnight."  
  
Hermione tried to get up but his hand stopped her. She just sat there waiting for him to continue.  
  
"Are you trying to die?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Are you trying to die? When you cut yourself are you trying to die?"  
  
"What does it matter. You don't even know me. If I DID die I bet you would not even come to my funeral," said Hermione.  
  
"Sure I would. Lots of people would."  
  
"Not my Parents."  
  
"Do you do it because of your parents?"  
  
"It's none of your business."  
  
"What did they do to you?"  
  
Hermione looked up at him as if she were seeing him for the first time. No one had asked her that before.  
  
"George, I don't trust you. I really don't even know you. You walked in on me that night. You didn't walk into my life. Stop asking me all of these questions."  
  
"You're wrong. I walked into you're heart that night. I am the only one who can save you from the nothing you've become. The question is, will you?"  
  
"I can't."  
  
"You're not who you pretend to be. You're just scared. You think if you pretend to be the know it all no one will see you and the person you really are. You're scared."  
  
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, okay? You don't even know me."  
  
"Tell me about your family."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We're sitting here. You might as well tell me about your family. You know a lot about mine. You might as well tell me about yours."  
  
"Fine. I have a lot of brothers."  
  
"Yeah, me too, as you know. I know."  
  
"No, you don't know. Family reunions are a mess. Reunion isn't really the right word. Try family feud. It started with my fucked up grandparents on my Father's side. Well my Grandma got a divorce from Grandpa when my Dad was ten years old. She was remarried by the time he was almost eleven. My Grandfather had married practically the day they got divorced. My Dad had three sisters and two brothers, whole siblings. He was the youngest. Then My Grandma had three kids with her knew husband. It didn't affect my Dad too much because he lives with his Dad. All the boys did. My Grandma had taken the daughters. So, she had six kids living with her. My Grandfather had four kids with his other wife. By that time they were all grown. Everyone was having his or her own kids, divorces, affairs, you name it. My Dad and Mom were just like my Grandparents. My Dad had been married twice before he married my Mother. He had two kids from both marriages. So he had four sons. I had two stepmothers. Then he married my Mom. Oh, her family would have none of it. They had three kids before me. I was the last kid they had, well together that is. They recently got divorced because my Father knocked a girl up. Oh, she had a safe delivery, triplets. Oh and before her he had another affair. At least the lady was kind enough to only give him twins. They're three years older than I am. Everyone fights."  
  
"Are you trying to tell me you have, what, nine siblings."  
  
"Oh, I'm pretty sure I'll have plenty of half siblings in the future."  
  
"Why do you cut on yourself."  
  
"Why shouldn't I? In my house I feel nothing but pain and craziness. I have been threw a lot and I have to be strong. I am not allowed to be weak. Cutting keeps me strong. It doesn't matter how badly it hurts. Hurting is the best part of it all. For one moment I can escape my pain and I can feel something. See, now? You better stay away from me. I'll mess you up."  
  
"Well, than that's just too bad for you and for me because I'm not going anywhere. I am going to help you. I can't promise I can work a miracle but I'll stand by you. I can promise you that."  
  
"You couldn't help me if your life depended on it. No one can help me. Do you want to know why? I'm impossible. At least that's what my nannies say."  
  
"I'm going to try."  
  
"Look, go on your way and leave me to be. My family is fucked up but they're my family, no matter what they have done to me in the past. Cutting is my way of dealing with it. Not everyone is as lucky as you are George. Do you know what I would give to be you for a day?"  
  
"What the hell are you going on about? I'm not lucky. Why would you want to be me-ever? I'm poor, I'm-"  
  
"You have everything that matters. You can be yourself without worrying every ten minutes you're going to slip. You're friends know you. I mean truly know you. You have two parents who love you. They care about you. They are together. They love eachother. They honor their wedding vows. They see that marriage is something sacred. They raised you. They loved you. You weren't some kid that got in the way. You are part of a family who loves you. All of your siblings love you. You can talk to any of them when you have a problem. They'll listen. My brothers and sisters never talk to eachother or me really because most of their mothers hate eachother. You don't have siblings like that. You're house is full of love. Every year your mom makes you a sweater. She wants you to know she cares. My parents send servants to purchase my presents."  
  
"Everyone is so wrong about you Hermione. Why do you pretend to be like the rest of us? You're not better than the rest of us. You're as bad as Flint was. No you're worse. You're flint in sheep's clothing. Why didn't they just place you in Slytherin?"  
  
"I didn't want to be in Slytherin. I know you think I'm some deceitful bitch but think about me for a second. I can't help it. I am who I am. I didn't ask for it. So, I cover myself up. I'm sorry that I didn't turn out to be the person you think I should be, the person everyone thinks I should be. I'm sorry that you walked in on me that night. You see me as everyone else would if they knew. You see me as a freak, but for some reason that's okay."  
  
George was about to say something but Hermione ran up to her room not giving him a chance to say anything. Even if she had given him a chance to speak he wasn't quite sure what he would have said anyway."  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
A/N: I need ideas for this story please! 


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